November 30, 2011

The Fight for HOPE

The sunlight is creeping in.  Things are looking brighter.

No...not in a literal's dark at stinken' 4:30PM around here. that ever "the walls are closing in on me, the sun is never going to shine again" crazy.  I don't like it....but despite it, I'm surviving.

At times I wish I was numb to the anxiety I've been before (I messed with my medication), but it's good.  Okay...not good, but good for me to learn to cope with again.  It's not like it's something new.  I HAVE been dealing with it for a very long time.  I can handle it (or am trying to).  Even if handling it means stuffing my face with 2 small bowls of ice cream and hot fudge to calm me (like last night).  Not the most productive coping mechanism...I know, but it seemed to help at the time.  :)

I want to know when my life got so busy?  For the longest time I filled my days with almost nothing (other than an occasional blog post now and then) but now find myself in the thick of "out of control" and "running around the room"-ism.  My other blog, Testosterone Overload, has started consuming a great amount of my time (by the way, I have a giveaway going on right now...come take a look) and I find myself less and less able to sit and think "methodical" thoughts.

It's only when I am alone...and away from my computer (that's a biggie), that I find time to connect with God and with me....I mean the REAL me....who I am inside (not the sarcastic jokester on the surface).

I've had a few such experiences lately.

While on my way to the chiropractor (yes, I am FINALLY taking care of my 6 month old back injury), this week and last, I had the opportunity to refresh my soul with a bit of good music (you know how music gets to me).  During both instances, I took the time away, from the chaos that is my home, to really focus and listen to my newest music indulgence.

Remember me telling you about Hilary Weeks new cd, Every Step, that was coming out and how she hoped she would be able to sell enough copies in the first few days so she could top the Contemporary Christian Billboard Chart?  Well she did sell enough copies and she did make the yeay for her!

Well, Hilary made stated that the reason she wanted to top the charts was so that her music would be able to get out to a wider audience.  She really feels like there are messages to share here.  That people can benefit from these inspired lyrics.  And...can I tell you...from my perspective she was absolutely right.  THE WORLD NEEDS TO HERE THIS.

And so I bought the cd, and that's the one I have been indulging in.

One song, in particular, has continued to jump out at me...reaching deep within my aching, depressed, anxious, stressed and worried soul.  It has awakened an allusive sense of HOPE that has been hiding somewhere in the recesses of my spirit for the last several months.

Isn't it ironic that I started this blog to offer others HOPE, feeling like I was "cured" of this terrible disease called depression, and yet, now I am found clinging to the same HOPE that I wanted so desperately to offer to others?  All in a few short months.  Crazy! 

It's humbling.  Very humbling.    

And so I wanted to share these HOPEful lyrics with you, in HOPEs that they might speak to you as well.

by Hilary Weeks
(you can hear a snippit of it here or in Itunes)

I already know you're strong
You don't have to hide your tears
Even the bravest
Have moments of fear

I can see beyond today
And I believe, I believe in your tomorrow

When it seems your dreams have abandoned you
When doubt is pounding at your door
When the flood is rising
When the fire of HOPE has turned to ashes
When the road fades beneath your feet
I'll be there by your side
I'll be there for you
Always I'll be with you
Right here
Right here

As the cloud begin to part
When the blue is breaking through
When your dreams
Come looking for you

You won't have to call my name
'Cause I'll be here, I'll be standing here beside you.

When you see miracles surround you
When the grass is green on every side
When the sun is shining
When you are standing at the summit
When the sea parts to let you through
I'll be there by your side
I'll be there for you
Always I'll be with you
Right here
Right here

Such a beautiful song.  I've fallen in love with it.

It makes me think.  It gives me HOPE.  It strengthens my faith. 

As the song says, the clouds will part, the blue will break through and dreams will be realized again.  Miracles will happen, the sun will shine,  we will find ourselves on top again, the sea will part to let us through.  And He will be there...every step of the way. 

Difficult times, times of trial, times of heartbreak and despair...they are all temporary.  They WILL NOT LAST FOREVER.  The darkness will pass and the sun will shine again.  We just have to cling to that HOPE, that faith, and that trust in Him.

So, LET'S DO IT!  

If you are struggling...join with me.  Plant that little seed of HOPE right now...give it all you've got.  CLING to it...NOURISH it....FIGHT for it! DON'T give in to hopelessness.  DON'T let it pull you under.

God is with us...and He will use our darkest moments for our GREATEST good.

So let's have HOPE!

He's done it countless times before...and He will do it again. 

The album "Every Step" is available at in both CD or MP3 format.

P.S. I love to hear from you! Leave a comment or e-mail me at melaniesmethodicalmusings at gmail dot com 
This post contain affiliates link but I was not asked to promote these product.  The opinions are all mine.  Just wanted you to know where you could pick them up if you want them too.


momofcmhl said...

I just want to thank you for your blog. I think we're a lot alike in how we are when depression takes over. Anger is something I really struggle with. I appreciate your putting words to how you feel. I find myself nodding and saying, "exactly" about how you feel, because that's how I feel and don't know how to express it. Thank you.

Rebecca said...

Oh sweet Melanie... YOU are a *giver* of HOPE to so many people.

I absolutely LOVE reading your blog. what a true gift you have in expressing your thoughts and feelings in ways others can totally relate to.

I try, but do it in a very ordered manner (with tons of re-writes before posting) - while you are the embodiment of creativity!!

Melanie said...

momofchml...funny that you should say that. I, too, went to have a look-see at your blog tonight and felt the same way. *exactly* Kindred spirits? overworked moms? Who knows...but I appreciate your comment.

And...Rebecca...I love Rebecca and i love your blog. BTW, I spend about 90x's more time editing and re-writing my posts that I do on the "original" thought. It's annoying...and yet I can't help myself. Glad to know I'm not the only one. :)

Thanks are awesome.

momofcmhl said...

Melanie, I grew up in Provo and now live in American Fork. Where in Utah did you grow up?

Melanie said...

Orem. My family still lives there. We're like neighbors. :)

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