September 5, 2011

Never too late to thank an angel...

I'm sure we can all think of someone, probably more than one someone, who has had a huge impact on our lives for good.

Sometimes we call them "life savers", sometimes we call them "butterflies", sometimes we call them "saints".

Today I'm going to call Them angels.  Because these ladies were, without a doubt, angels sent from God.

The other night I was awakened, for reasons I won't bore you with, at 1:30AM and encountered severe difficulties falling back asleep (probably because I had to get up at 5:45AM, the irony).  While lying there I started thinking about what the morning would bring....Little Red's (rug rat #2) first official day of kindergarten.  I was excited for him and yet a little nervous for him as well.  He has some "semi-attached to mommy" issues that were worrying me because I was not going to be there to walk him to his classroom in the morning.  After some reassurance that daddy would give him some "extra special hugs and kisses" from me and that I would be there after school to pick him up, he said "okay" and went to bed.  And yet...I still worried.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that what weighed on my mind the most didn't have much to do with Little Red at all.  What bothered me the most was that 4 year ago when I turned Rug Rat #1 loose on the school system (government funded preschool) I didn't even consider his feelings in the matter.  Never once considered how that kind of change would impact him at such a young age (he had just BARELY turned 4).  Never mind that he was a whole 18 months younger at the time than #2 is currently.  Never mind that we had moved 750 miles, from another state, away from everything he had ever known just 4 weeks prior.  Never mind that mommy had just had a baby two weeks after that and was on a steady decline toward angry psycho-ism.

Me, Myself and I just wanted him out of the house for a few hours.  Not that he wasn't happy to go, but it really had nothing to do with him.  I only considered what I wanted.

So as I sat in bed feeling sad about the past...the many injustices #1 was forced to endure at my sick, postpartum, "she's not in her right mind" hand, I found a ray of light at the end of my dark thoughts.

I remembered Them.

You see, that year, the Lord was indeed watching over us....especially over G-McBabe.  Of that I have no doubt.

In our path the Lord placed two of the most amazing women...his preschool teachers...our ANGELS...that saved G-McBabe from his wretched mother and her self esteem squashing ways.

They built him up, praised him, and showered him with love.  They gave him all his mother was incapable of giving at the time.  And for that, they will FOREVER be dear to my heart.

I couldn't even fully comprehend what they had done for him then...I was still so wrapped up in my own world of depression and anger...and yet I cried on his last day of preschool, knowing that they would no longer be there to "save him" from me. 

It has been a long, hard, emotional road he has been on, but we are working on it...and he is coming through better than I thought.  I am convinced that without these wonderful ladies, who set such a loving foundation for him back then, he would be far worse off...possibly without a chance of full recovery. 

So, after what seemed like hours of mulling over these thoughts (but was more likely less than one), I decided it was finally time to let them know just how much their actions have meant to us.  The general idea had been in the works for quite some time now.  I just hadn't done it. 

For 4 years...4 years!...I held on to one of his teachers e-mail addresses (which is SO unlike me...I am quite an avid e-mail account declutterer).  For a long time I didn't know why.  I just did.   In the last two years, or so, I knew that the time would come when I would be in a place to properly express my thanks to them for what they had done those many years ago.

And for some was time.  In the middle of the night, no less.  It could not wait until morning.

I spent the next hour or so sitting at the computer table, bawling, as I composed an e-mail trying to fully express my gratitude to these angel women who, will never fully understand the impact, for good, that they had on my sweet little boy and his family.

I did my best, through the tears and middle of the night brain fog,...pushed "send"...and crawled back in bed.

It was only then I was able to drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

I woke up at 5:40AM, groggy...but happy nonetheless...and all was well.

Rob, my husband, saw little Red and G-McBabe off to school.  Special hugs and kisses and everything.   No worries...I picked him up (and only a few minutes late...sigh)...and he was just fine.  All that worrying for nothing.  PHEW!

I don't know why my thoughts landed where they did that night, or why I felt compelled to write that e-mail right then (in the middle of the blasted night) but I wasn't about to ignore the feeling that it needed to be done....THEN.  It was too strong.  And I felt at such peace when it was finally said and done.

It's never too late to thank YOUR angels for what they have done for you and yours.  Maybe they REALLY need to hear it or maybe it's just you that REALLY needs to say it.

Either way, take a minute today to think about someone who has touched your life for good...and let them know. 

Also...keep in mind that you can be an ANGEL for someone else.  Pray for opportunities.  They are all around us. 

This whole entry kinda reminds me of this song. (yeah, I know what you are thinking...everything reminds me of a song).

And that's my peace...literally.
P.S. Leave a comment! I love to hear from you!


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Andrea said...

I was just thinking about this same thing this week, I think we sometimes have fleeting thoughts about someone, and if we don't act on them they may just pass us by, but yet other times they eat at us until we do act but regardless, how important it is to tell people when you have those little promptings, it will sometimes mean the world to another.

Ariane said...


Thank you so much for your post. It has me in tears. I have reflected on this same thing quite a bit over the past couple of days. There have been so many angels that have blessed the lives of myself and my family through my battle with depression.

One particular angel was my daughters sixth grade teacher last year. My daughter has had such a struggle partially as a result of my battle with depression. Her sixth grade teacher took her in and loved her and cared for her like she was one of her granddaughters. I don't know of a better way to describe her than to say that she was an angel, not only for my daughter but for me as well. I will never be able to thank her enough for the blessing she was in our lives during a time when we so desperately needed it.

Thank you for sharing your experience and for reminding us of the blessing of angels in our lives.

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