September 23, 2011

"This is a crazy house"

So it's not very often (or ever) that I share something really, truly, just plain funny on MMUW (I usually reserve those types of things for my other blog Testosterone Overload).

But, since this story is both funny and applicable to the niche of this blog, I decided to share it anyway (even if I am the only one who truly enjoys it).

This week I've got a lot of visitor up in 'dis house.  My mom, sister and grandma came to visit from Utah and my brother, sister-in-law and niece are due in from the Seattle Area any minute, as well.

Yeah...full house....but very happy and exciting.  I've been feeling kinda homesick lately (this time of year seems to do that to me).  I'm very glad they're here (even if it is a bit....whew....if you know what I mean).

So...this funny is about my grandma.  My 83 year old grandma.  My 83 year old grandma who is in a semi-advanced stage of Alzheimers.  She doesn't really remember who I am...and my kids...forget it...she asks who they are about every 2-3 minutes.  Poor woman has NO idea that she is in Washington or how in the world she got here. 

Tonight we were all sitting down to dinner.  Grandma was enjoying herself...cracking jokes and giggling like a little kid (when she get's in one of these moods, she is hilarious....HILARIOUS) thing I know she's asking about her late  husband, Lowell, (who has been gone for just over 27 years now) and is in tears when my mom reminds here that he has passed on (it broke my heart).  It only lasted for a few moments, probably forgot what she was crying about, and she perked back up....back to her teasing, chuckling, confused self. 

My boys are bouncing all over the place, which she LOVES to watch (she had 10 kids of her probably brings back some pretty sweet memories).  Their hopping up and down on the chairs, tipping over their milk, flinging food, asking over and over to be excused, being sent from the table for throwing tantrums...all the while the baby's yelling, "I wa dauwwwwnnnnnnnn!"

Grandma pauses mid-smile, turns to me and says, "This is a crazy house."

Laughter burst from me.....she has no idea....literally....just how crazy this house really is....and more importantly, how crazy it used to be (thinking of my deeply depressed/severely anxious days, of course).

"Yep....doesn't get any crazier," I say.

"Noooooo.....," she says chuckling noncommittal-ly  (let's be honest...she had probably already forgotten what she was laughing about).........

"Seriously have NO idea"

These last 4 years have been a journey, for sure.   One that was extremely hard but one that I am grateful for. 

To have gone from a CRAZY house (as in, mama is mentally insane) a crazy house (as in, there are four little boys under one roof) truly amazing and I feel truly blessed to be in the middle of it

.....(most of the time).  :)  
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September 20, 2011

Woman of Inspiration---hear her story

I found this video here on the website Postpartum Progress today (which is a totally awesome should go check it out).

I was truly inspired by Leilani's faith and her strength. Amazing! I just had to share.

September 17, 2011

I am Mormon...hear me ROAR! I accidentally posted this half way through...if you had a chance to read it (or got it e-mailed to you) disregard that post and read this one.   :)

I am woman Mormon, hear me ROAR!  I don't think I have ever made my religion "unknown" especially on this blog.  I find it comforting that those of you who do not share in my faith are still here....that you're not afraid of me...or the horns I have tucked underneath my mangy mess of red curls....he he he....

The fact is, we Mormons tend to get a pretty bad wrap.  I don't know why our church seems to be attacked far more than any other...but we do.  It stinks...but it is what it is.

As I was preparing for a Sunday school lesson I am teaching tomorrow on Baptism, I was reminded of the very basic truths we believe, the very fundamentals of our religion, the same ones that existed in Christ's church when he, himself, was here on the earth, and realized that maybe, just maybe, people would feel differently if they understood us a little better.  So,  I thought I would spend a few minutes to clear up some of the confusion.

Things commonly believed of Mormons that are NOT true:
#1  That we are not Christians and worship Joseph Smith instead of Jesus Christ
#2  That we do not believe in, or follow the teachings of the Holy Bible
#3  That we continue in our practice of polygamy  ( if I would share my husband with another woman...right)
#4  That we are a cult about some funny ones....

This first one is my favorite...I heard it from a neighbor who became one of my very best friends (Love you Lacy)...
#5  That every person we "convert" on earth will be our "spiritual babies" when we get to heaven.  ("WHAT?!" he he he...we had a good laugh about that one...after I recovered from choking on my own spit.) 

#6  That we have horns hidden under our I said earlier (dude my husband is practically horns...I promise)
#7  That somehow our Book of Mormon is combustible upon contact with the skin of someone who is not Mormon (courtesy of Lacy as well)....well, I don't know if that is what she really thought, but she was terribly afraid to touch it....still makes me laugh....( need to move back soon!)
#8  That you have to like green jello and know how to make several varieties of it (even with carrots...ugh).

I know there are many more rumors floating "out there" about us.  Do you know any others?  If so, I would be happy to hear them.  Some are very funny...some are not...but still good to know about anyway.  


I thought I would share the basics of what we DO believe....

We believe in God, the Eternal Father, and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost.
 We believe that men will be punished for their own sins, and not for Adam’s transgression.
 We believe that through the Atonement of Christ, all mankind may be saved, by obedience to the laws and ordinances of the Gospel.
 We believe that the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel are: first, Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ; second, Repentance; third, Baptism by immersion for the remission of sins; fourth, Laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost.
 We believe that a man must be called of God, by prophecy, and by the laying on of hands by those who are in authority, to preach the Gospel and administer in the ordinances thereof.
 We believe in the same organization that existed in the Primitive Church, namely, apostles, prophets, pastors, teachers, evangelists, and so forth.
 We believe in the gift of tongues, prophecy, revelation, visions, healing, interpretation of tongues, and so forth.
 We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly; we also believe the Book of Mormon to be the word of God.
 We believe all that God has revealed, all that He does now reveal, and we believe that He will yet reveal many great and important things pertaining to the Kingdom of God.
 10 We believe in the literal gathering of Israel and in the restoration of the Ten Tribes; that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American continent; that Christ will reign personally upon the earth; and, that the earth will be renewed and receive its paradisiacal glory.
 11 We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may.
 12 We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law.
 13 We believe in being honest, true, chaste, benevolent, virtuous, and in doing good to all men; indeed, we may say that we follow the admonition of Paul—We believe all things, we hope all things, we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things.

Here are some other interesting facts about Mormons:
*We all hold "callings" (kinda like a job/assignment) and dont get paid for them.  Nope...not one of us.  Everything is done on a volunteer basis...from our Prophet, Thomas S. Monson, to our bishops, to our Gospel Essential teachers (Me), and to those who are assigned to wipe the noses and feed snacks to the 18 mo-3 year old crowd (also known as Nursery Leaders).  We hold these "callings" for a few years and then are released and assigned some other task (usually in an area where we need growth).  Of course, we have the right to either accept or decline these assignments, but rarely do because we believe they come directly from the Lord.

*We believe that families are the single most important thing we have on this earth (we believe it...sometimes it's just hard to remember it when your kids are whining and complaining.  he he).  We protect them and love them at all costs.  We believe that we can be together far beyond "til death doth [us] part"... but for eternity.

*We willingly give 10% of our earnings to help build and maintain churches, temples, and other building, help the missionary program, run church education programs, print and distribute teaching materials, provide operating funds for stakes, wards and other units of the Church, and help in family history and temple name a few things.  **Because of this, the LDS church is run independently.  100% debt free.  100%.  That's crazy talk.

*Twice a year (the first weekend in April and October) our church broadcasts worldwide what is known as "General Conference".  For two days we are instructed by our Prophet, Apostles, and other church leaders, who give inspired messages directly from the Lord for us to hear and follow.  It's truly an amazingly edifying experience (when my children are quiet enough for me to listen, that is) and I look forward to it every year (two weeks and counting)

So there you have it. 

Mormonism in a nutshell.

Have questions?  I would be most happy to answer them.  If I don't have the answer...I will find it or refer you to someone who does.  :)  Just shoot me an e-mail:  melaniesmethodicalmusings at gmail dot com.

May God bless you....
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September 15, 2011

"Happy Foods" that won't make you fat---I'M IN!

I found an article in my local newspaper this morning.

"Happy Foods that won't make you gain weight."

They had me at "hello"...I mean, really. 

"Happy" and "weight" loss.  Words to my ears.

Foods that can boost your mood without blowing your diet---I'm IN!

#1 Popcorn
Mood booster:  Tryptophan
 Aids the body's production of serotonin, a tranquility-inducing brain chemical.  A study published in the journal Acta Psychiatrica Scandinavia found that foods containing tryptophan, like mustard greens, pumpkin seeds and bananas, offer mood-elevating effects. Tryptophan levels are often low in people suffering from depression, although researchers are unclear as to whether the relationship is a cause or a consequence of the condition.
(Tryptophan is also found in turkey but is more effective in aiding the above chemical production when consumed with carbohydrates instead of protein)

#2 Walnuts
Mood booster:  Alpha-linolenic acid
The article says that a new study of 55,000 women published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition suggests that alpha-linolenic acid, an omega-3 fatty acid in plant foods like walnuts, soybeans, and flaxseed, is the real star in alleviating depression symptoms.  In the 10-year study, Harvard University researchers found that the risk of depression was lower among women who consumed more ALA, a compound previously thought to have few health benefits.

#3 Cottage cheese
Mood booster:  Tyrosine
Low-fat sources of protein, like egg whites and low-fat cottage cheese, are packed with tyrosine, an amino acid that aid in the brain's production of norepinephrine and dopamine, two chemicals that influence motivation and reaction time.

#4  Sunflower seeds
Mood booster: Selenium
A Nutritional Neuroscience review of five studies on selenium and depression linked deficiencies in the mineral to poorer mood.  Another study published in the Journal of Maternal-Fetal and Neonatal Medicine suggests that selenium can help prevent postpartum depression. When 44 postpartum women received 100 mcg of selenium daily, they scored lower on a postnatal depression scale.

#5 Lentils
Mood booster: Folate
A study pubklished in the Journal of Nutrition found that of the 2,692 middle-aged Finnish men int he study, those whose diets contained the least folate were 67% more likely to suffer from depression.  Research suggests that low levels of the B vitamin impair the metabolism of neurotransmitters, leaving your brain short on serotonin and dopamine.
(AND YOU ALL KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT FOLATE....if not, you can read it here.) 

#6 Avocado
Mood booster: Oleic acid
Healthy fats, like those found in olive oil and avocados. don't just keep the belly fat at bay.  They also can ward off a bad mood.  Oleic acid, a monounsaturated omega-9 fatty acid, increases the feel-good chemical serotonin in the brain, keeping you calm. In a study published in the Archives of General Psychiatry, researchers at the University of Nivarra in Spain found that people who consumed a Mediterranean diet rich in fruits, nuts, fish and olive oil were 30 percent less likely to become depressed.

#7  Citrus fruit
Mood booster:  Vitamin C
In a study conducted by doctors at Jewish General Hospital in Montreal and published in the journal Nutrition, researchers found that when vitamin C-deficient hospital patients were supplemented with 500 mg of vitamin C twice daily for 1 week they experienced a 34 percent reduction in mood disturbance. Even the smell of citrus can put you in a better state of mind. When participants in an Ohio State University study smelled lemons, they reported greater improvements in mood and had higher levels of norepinephrine compared with when they sniffed lavender or unscented water.

#8  Low-fat milk
Mood boosters: Vitamin D, calcium, whey protein
An American Journal of Clinical Nutrition study found that alpha-lactalbumin, a component of whey protein, improves cognitive performance in stress-prone individuals by increasing levels of tryptophan and serotonin in the brain.

The mood booster: Magnesium
This portable treat makes a great 100-calorie snack when you're craving something sweet. Bananas are a good source of magnesium, a mineral that helps the brain deal with stress and may help boost mood, too. In a study of 5,700 adults published in the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry, researchers linked higher levels of anxiety and depression to study participants with lower magnesium intake. Bananas are also packed with potassium, which helps boost alertness, tryptophan, an amino acid that aids the body in producing mood-boosting serotonin and mood-stabilizing vitamin B6.
You can read the whole article here....although I published most of it here.

Interesting information, I thought.  There wasn't one food here that I was like...."huh?  are you kidding me?"  It all seemed to make sense. 

I'm a pretty firm believer that the raw-er, the more natural, the more...oh no...I'm gonna say food is (oh now, she said the "O" word) the better it is for you.

Our world was a much more mentally stable place before we started adding fast food and preservatives into our diets.

I'm all for it (especially since I am no longer drug induced level).  

How about you?  What do you think?

Side note:  We, Mormons, are taught to stick to what we call the "Word of Wisdom".  It's a law of physical and spiritual health revealed by the Lord to the Prophet Joseph Smith in 1833.  Yeah...most people know Mormons don't drink coffee or tea or alcohol (or at least we are taught not to)...that all comes from this revelation, as well as guidance on the use of meat, grains, herbs, and other things the Lord has put on the earth for our use. We are promised wonderful blessings for sticking to this "law".  You can click on the link above and/or here for more information.

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September 14, 2011

Anti-Depressant Independence--I'm free!

Alright, so as of today, I am totally free of anti-depressants.

How do I feel?  I know you are dying to ask.

I feel has been good.

I'm not going to lie.  Like I hinted in my last post...last week was hard.

About a day after I went down to 1/4 dose, I was hit with some pretty lousy withdrawal symptoms. 

I spent most of Thursday and Friday huffing and puffing mad and yelling at my children.

I felt awful for doing that.  But i couldn't quite pull it together.  I was so worried I was headed back into the doom dimension---that dark place of anger and rage I was trapped in for over 2 years--that I became more upset and more anxious.

Finally, Friday afternoon I took some time to examine things a little closer.

Did I really FEEL angry....I mean in, deep down within me where it had put up residence before?  Or was the anger merely an outward manifestation of something else.  It took me a while but I finally figured it out.  The answer...NO....I wasn't really mad.  Thank goodness.  

I was however extremely anxious...and not in a way you would normally think of anxiety.  I wasn't worried about anything in particular.  It was more of a physical anxiety.  Like...a drug induced....or more accurately...a lack of drug induced anxiety.  My body was completely keyed up and on edge.  I wanted to crawl out of my skin...literally...that's how anxious I was....and yet, of course, I couldn't.

Once I finally realized the source of my emotions I was better able to control them.

Saturday was a good day.

Then Sunday hit and I was a complete basket case.  I cried....ALL morning.  I couldn't control myself. 


I didn't know what to do.  I had all these thoughts going through my head.

"Maybe I'm not ready to go off.  What if I head back down into depression.  I cant go back there...I just cant.  Should I go back up to 1/2 and just ride it out for a while.  Should I just forge ahead and hope for the best.  What if I crash...I don't want to crash.....etc, etc, etc....I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO! 

My mind was A MESS!
After we got home from church and got the kids fed and bedded down for naps I discussed the dilemma with my husband.  The all wise man suggested something I hadn't thought of in my mental frenzy.  "Why don't you pray about it."  (I told you he was wise)

And so I did...and I was filled with a good measure of peace and able to function the rest of the day.

I made up my mind to call my doctor the next morning and discuss my options.  But, I never got a call back.  Despite that, Monday was a good day...

Yesterday, Tuesday was a good day as well.  I got a message from the doctors office...but I didn't call back.  I'm not quite sure why.  Maybe because I was feeling better...maybe because I HATE making phone calls......probably some of both.

So, like I said, as of today I am medication free.  I'm sure I'm in for a whopper of a week....with the final withdrawal symptoms and all...but for now....this is the way it is.

To be honest....dealing with levels of emotions I haven't had to deal with for over 2 years is a little hard.  Even the good ones.  I mean, the range is wild.  There is something to be said for being "numbed" a bit by anti-depressants.  At least having things kept in a manageable level is, well, manageable.  I'm going to have to pull out and dust off some of the "coping" skills I have acquired over the years.

So...for now...I'm happy to be off.  I'm excited to be off.  My HOPE is that I will be able to remain off.

But...I've learned my lesson (or at least I hope I have).  I will never intentionally allow myself to go back to that dark place of destruction again.  Not necessarily for my sake (although that too) but more importantly, for my husband and children's sake.  I love them too much to do that to them again.

If that means going back on anti-depressants at some point in be it.  I will be forever grateful they were available to me when I needed them.  And if I ever need them again (even if it turns out to be sooner than later) I won't hesitate to use their "assistance" again.
 P.S.  For those of you who have been on anti-depressants before...what was your experience coming off of them?  and did you ever have to go back on them?  Just curious.....

Leave a comment! I love to hear from you!

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September 12, 2011

A Renewed Zest for God and Country!

Yesterday was a hard day.  I have not been doing very well since I came down to this dose of anti-depressants.  But that is a topic for another day.

As Rob and I lay in bed yesterday morning we were discussing the meaning behind the day.  I told him that I didn't really feel like I had been personally affected (other than economically) by the events of 9/11. "I just feel so detached from it all,"  I said.

Yeah...that lasted a whole 20 minutes.

Shorty after I got out of bed, I found a brand new flag, on my dresser, that I had claimed at a "clean out granny's house (because she lives in a rest home and has WAY too much stuff she will never use again)" party, that I had yet to find storage for (these many months later).

I got a grand idea...

"We should hang this up today," I said to Rob.  "Okay," was his response.  And we set to it.
 (Apparently the union should be on the left side, as viewed from the was our first time, we will get it right next time.
Oh...and ignore the messy bookshelf.  I blame it on my children entirely.)

Little did I know that displaying the starts and stripes in my own home, amidst a frenzy of questions from my ever curious children, would invoke such patriotism, compassion and sorrow in my heart.

I bawled as I explained what happened on that horrific day 10 years ago, I bawled as my eldest and I talked of the heroic acts of the firefighters, police officers, civilians, and in the most detail, the passengers aboard United Airlines Flight 93, who died trying to save the lives of others.  I bawled as we drove to church and were assaulted by these two breathtaking sights.

  (our local fire department paying tribute)
(okay...ignore the bugs on my windshield and focus on the rows and rows of flags that represented each person who lost their life that fateful day)

And I bawled throughout the entire 2 hour area conference broadcast (Mormon lingo--no worries if you don't understand--liken it to a sermon that's broadcast over satellite for a large group of people (this one was for all WA and AK LDS church members)).
When my thought finally calmed, they settled where they always seem to settle....within myself...forever engaging, reflecting, and analyzing my inner most feelings in an attempt to change make them better.

Here are some of the thoughts I had swirling deep down.

It's so easy to blame al-Qaeda for our counties sorrow.  Osama Bin Laden and particularly those 19 members who participated in the hijackings.  It's so easy to hate judge rejoice in their self-inflicted demise.  (and I'm not saying they didn't deserve it....just hear me out).

And yet, as we focus on them...blame "it all" on them, we lose sight of what WE are doing to cause pain, sorrow, and destruction to this great county of ours and it's inhabitants.

Things like...


A general LACK of LOVE, COMPASSION and CARE for the WELL BEING of others.
We are all guilty of one or more of these things at one point in time, or perhaps at every point in time, and yet it's so much easier to place the blame of corruption elsewhere.

It's my belief that these UNGODLY and UNCHRIST-LIKE behaviors are at the ROOT of our nations demise.  We are slowly destroying ourselves from the inside out, not being destroyed from the outside in...which is a common misconception.

(if you haven't seen this...I highly recommend it)

As I continued to think about this today, I started searching for quotes...brilliant words from those who have come before me.  Through various sources, I came up with these.  (I added the underlinings)

"You have the highest of human trusts committed to your care. Providence has showered on this favored land blessings without number, and has chosen you, as the guardians of freedom, to preserve it for the benefit of the human race. May He who holds in His hands the destinies of nations make you worthy of the favors He has bestowed, and enable you, with pure hearts, and pure hands, and sleepless vigilance, to guard and defend to the end of time the great charge He has committed to your keeping."   --Andrew Jackson (former US president)
And a few words from the famous French historian Alexis de Tocqueville, from back in 1831:
“I sought for the greatness and genius of America in her commodious harbors and her ample rivers, and it was not there; in her fertile fields and boundless prairies, and it was not there; in her rich mines and her vast world of commerce, and it was not there. Not until I went to the churches of America and heard her pulpits aflame with righteousness did I understand the secret of her genius and power. America is great because she is good, and if America ever ceases to be good, America will cease to be great.” (Jerreld L. Newquist, comp., Prophets, Principles and National Survival, Salt Lake City: Publishers Press, 1967, p. 60.)

And over 2,500 years ago, after seeing a vision of our beloved county, the prophet Lehi said:
"Wherefore, this land (America)  is consecrated unto him who He shall bring.  And if it so be that they shall serve him according to the commandments which he hath given, it shall be a land of liberty unto them; wherefore, they shall never be brought down into captivity; if so, it shall be because of iniquity; for if iniquity shall abound cursed shall be the land for their sakes, but unto the righteous it shall be blessed forever...
...if it so be that they shall keep his commandments they shall be blessed upon the face of this land, and there shall be none to molest them, nor take away the land of their inheritance; and they shall dwell safely forever."

And Lehi's warning...
"But behold, when the time cometh that they shall dwindle in unbelief, after they have received so great blessings from the hand of the Lord...
...if the day shall come that they will reject the Holy One of Isreal, the true Messiah, their Redeemer and their God, behold the judgments of him that is just shall rest upon them.  Yeah, he will bring other nations unto them, and he will give unto them power, and he will take away from them the lands of their possessions, and and he will cause them to be scattered and smitten. (2 Nephi 1:7,10-11)

For family night tonight, we talked to our boys about God and country and how the two are divinely tied.  We talked about how our country was founded on God and will only prosper as long as it continues to be so.

I read this to them (yep...another quote):

"This is the time for you to be bold enough to stand up for what you believe, to let the world know that God still blesses this great land of America—if we will live righteously, according to that which he has commanded." (found in this fantastic article God's Hand in the Founding of America--adapted from an address given by Elder L. Tom Perry in 1976)

After thinking about all of this for the last two days, I must say that my zest for My Country and My God has been reborn.  Patriotism at it's finest.

I want to live my life more worthily, to be more Christ-like and to strive to share that zest of righteousness with others.

I, for one, never want to see our county fall...and will do all that I can, in my power, to keep it from happening.  
GOD BLESS THE USA!  And he DOES!  He really DOES!

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September 7, 2011

Anti-Depressant Independence Week 3

Not much to report here actually. this case, no news is good news.

I'm down to 1/4 dose and doing just fine.

This week I have noticed a "deeper" sense of feeling.  Like...when I feel things (good or bad) I am FEELING them much more deeply.

Feelings of thankfulness just about overwhelmed me (in a good way) as I wrote my last post.  I mean, I cried...actually bawled because I was so overcome with gratitude.  That was awesome.  It's been a LONG time coming.

I haven't experienced any real lows of note.  Regular dips here and know...because I am a human being...but nothing significant.  I know there will is a part of life...but I finally feel ready to take them on without falling into a deep pit of despair.

I said it before...I will NOT go down without a fight as long as it is in my power...I can be pretty feisty when I want to be...

I am extremely hopeful that I will be able to go off completely.  7 days and counting. 

In the meantime...I thought I would share this clip on HOPE.  I love it.  This man is a heavenly inspired testifier of truth...your life will be blessed for taking 2 minutes to listen to him.  (Thanks to the blog writer of Don't Worry Be Happy...A Journey of Discovery (Dealing with Depression) for sharing it)

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September 5, 2011

Never too late to thank an angel...

I'm sure we can all think of someone, probably more than one someone, who has had a huge impact on our lives for good.

Sometimes we call them "life savers", sometimes we call them "butterflies", sometimes we call them "saints".

Today I'm going to call Them angels.  Because these ladies were, without a doubt, angels sent from God.

The other night I was awakened, for reasons I won't bore you with, at 1:30AM and encountered severe difficulties falling back asleep (probably because I had to get up at 5:45AM, the irony).  While lying there I started thinking about what the morning would bring....Little Red's (rug rat #2) first official day of kindergarten.  I was excited for him and yet a little nervous for him as well.  He has some "semi-attached to mommy" issues that were worrying me because I was not going to be there to walk him to his classroom in the morning.  After some reassurance that daddy would give him some "extra special hugs and kisses" from me and that I would be there after school to pick him up, he said "okay" and went to bed.  And yet...I still worried.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that what weighed on my mind the most didn't have much to do with Little Red at all.  What bothered me the most was that 4 year ago when I turned Rug Rat #1 loose on the school system (government funded preschool) I didn't even consider his feelings in the matter.  Never once considered how that kind of change would impact him at such a young age (he had just BARELY turned 4).  Never mind that he was a whole 18 months younger at the time than #2 is currently.  Never mind that we had moved 750 miles, from another state, away from everything he had ever known just 4 weeks prior.  Never mind that mommy had just had a baby two weeks after that and was on a steady decline toward angry psycho-ism.

Me, Myself and I just wanted him out of the house for a few hours.  Not that he wasn't happy to go, but it really had nothing to do with him.  I only considered what I wanted.

So as I sat in bed feeling sad about the past...the many injustices #1 was forced to endure at my sick, postpartum, "she's not in her right mind" hand, I found a ray of light at the end of my dark thoughts.

I remembered Them.

You see, that year, the Lord was indeed watching over us....especially over G-McBabe.  Of that I have no doubt.

In our path the Lord placed two of the most amazing women...his preschool teachers...our ANGELS...that saved G-McBabe from his wretched mother and her self esteem squashing ways.

They built him up, praised him, and showered him with love.  They gave him all his mother was incapable of giving at the time.  And for that, they will FOREVER be dear to my heart.

I couldn't even fully comprehend what they had done for him then...I was still so wrapped up in my own world of depression and anger...and yet I cried on his last day of preschool, knowing that they would no longer be there to "save him" from me. 

It has been a long, hard, emotional road he has been on, but we are working on it...and he is coming through better than I thought.  I am convinced that without these wonderful ladies, who set such a loving foundation for him back then, he would be far worse off...possibly without a chance of full recovery. 

So, after what seemed like hours of mulling over these thoughts (but was more likely less than one), I decided it was finally time to let them know just how much their actions have meant to us.  The general idea had been in the works for quite some time now.  I just hadn't done it. 

For 4 years...4 years!...I held on to one of his teachers e-mail addresses (which is SO unlike me...I am quite an avid e-mail account declutterer).  For a long time I didn't know why.  I just did.   In the last two years, or so, I knew that the time would come when I would be in a place to properly express my thanks to them for what they had done those many years ago.

And for some was time.  In the middle of the night, no less.  It could not wait until morning.

I spent the next hour or so sitting at the computer table, bawling, as I composed an e-mail trying to fully express my gratitude to these angel women who, will never fully understand the impact, for good, that they had on my sweet little boy and his family.

I did my best, through the tears and middle of the night brain fog,...pushed "send"...and crawled back in bed.

It was only then I was able to drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

I woke up at 5:40AM, groggy...but happy nonetheless...and all was well.

Rob, my husband, saw little Red and G-McBabe off to school.  Special hugs and kisses and everything.   No worries...I picked him up (and only a few minutes late...sigh)...and he was just fine.  All that worrying for nothing.  PHEW!

I don't know why my thoughts landed where they did that night, or why I felt compelled to write that e-mail right then (in the middle of the blasted night) but I wasn't about to ignore the feeling that it needed to be done....THEN.  It was too strong.  And I felt at such peace when it was finally said and done.

It's never too late to thank YOUR angels for what they have done for you and yours.  Maybe they REALLY need to hear it or maybe it's just you that REALLY needs to say it.

Either way, take a minute today to think about someone who has touched your life for good...and let them know. 

Also...keep in mind that you can be an ANGEL for someone else.  Pray for opportunities.  They are all around us. 

This whole entry kinda reminds me of this song. (yeah, I know what you are thinking...everything reminds me of a song).

And that's my peace...literally.
P.S. Leave a comment! I love to hear from you!


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September 4, 2011

Not very methodical but funny none the less.....

I was checking my blog stats today and noticed something rather amusing. 

Under "search keywords" was this:

Why are methodical women annoying?


Two questions came to mind....

First of all...someone actually searched that?

and did that bring them to my blog?

So, I put those words into my Google browser...

and this blog came up as the #1 search engine hit.

Ha ha ha ha ha.....

Made me really laugh.....

and what made me laugh even harder was that who ever Google-d that came over to my blog for a visit.

Whatever get's the word our, right?  Here's hoping they'll come back again and be hooked for life.  :)

he he....still laughing.

To check out what I found when Google-ing the name of my "other" here

It feels good to really laugh again.  :)
forMMM P.S. Leave a comment! I love to hear from you! Vote for me @ Top Mommy Blogs - Mom Blog Directory
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